Now, I don't want to get ahead of myself because then all I'd do is stare at my a--. But what if Trump wins? Who would he ask to join his merry pirate ship of radicals? What about Elon Musk? This week, former Navy SEAL Sean Ryan mentioned that Musk expressed an interest in being part of the second Trump administration. I wonder if he and Elon have a great relationship. Is he great? Is he a totally unusual character? And do we have to cherish our geniuses?
TRUMP: If Elon and I... we have a great relationship, he's great. He is a totally unusual character. Do you know Elon? He's great and he's smart. And we have to cherish our geniuses. You know, we don't have too many of them, right?
He's right. We don't have enough geniuses. But this Trump-Musk matchup is like one of those videos where an owl becomes friends with a lion. You know, I just love unexpected matchups, you know, like this.
PICTURE OF THE VIEW CO-HOST JOY BEHAR AND SALAD
Or this.
PICTURE OF BRIAN STELTER AND A TREADMILL
But would Trump put Musk in the cabinet?
TRUMP: I'd put him in the cabinet absolutely. But I don't know how he could do that with all the things he's got going. But he can sort of, as the expression goes, consult with the country and give you some very good ideas.
He's right. Musk could offer a ton of good ideas. Plus, it would be fun to see how many government workers he gets pregnant. But if you don't think Musk is qualified, remember he runs X and Tesla and launches rockets. The only thing Biden has been known to launch is an underwear rocket after his Metamucil smoothie. And have you seen Biden's hires? It looks like they sent a headhunter to the bar in Star Wars. So what's so radical about a president having smart people in his cabinet? It'd be a nice change from the Biden-Harris White House, which is less a cabinet and more a padded cell.
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Think about it. Mayor Pete, Blinken, Raimondo, Cardona, Garland, Mayorkas. It's like they found these people under the roommates' wanted section of Craigslist. But Trump, you know, he should treat his cabinet like Ocean's 11, put together the most elite team of brilliant minds across multiple fields, get the best CEOs or other great thinkers instead of lifelong politicians. Make it the opposite of the Biden clown show, where they cast for diversity instead of brilliance and didn't care about the end result.
And it seems like Trump's already thinking that way. Tulsi Gabbard and RFK Jr. have already joined his White House transition team. That's two former Dems working for Trump, which is akin to the Dems like Maxine Waters joining the Aryan Brotherhood. Welcome aboard. And apparently, the pair have said they'd contribute to the Trump lineup in their fields of expertise. For RFK, it could be chronic diseases or legal reform or how to get sick abs. And for Tulsi, why not foreign policy?
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It'd be nice to have a Secretary of State who can bring us peace without leaving a trail of unfortunate suicides. But who else could Trump tap? Joe Rogan, Mike Rowe, Dana White, Bill Ackman, Kid Rock? How about Larry Kudlow as Treasury secretary? He's smarter than Janet Yellen and his haircut was brought to you by Tupperware. Judge Jeanine could be attorney general. Finally, we could deport Geraldo. Vivek, right? He could be Secretary of State. What better way to reflect America than outsourcing an important job to an Indian? Tyrus could head up Homeland Security. Hell, he's big enough to be the Department of Homeland Security.
Kat could be the Secretary of Interior because she never leaves her house. Kilmeade could head up the Department of Transportation. After all, his career is a train wreck. How about Pete Hegseth, the head of Veterans Affairs? You know he'll uphold the Constitution when he's got it tattooed on his arm. Then there's me. What should I do? Perhaps a new position for Secretary of Muscles. Yeah. You won't get ripped off, you'll just get ripped. Look, we already got the makings of the most anti-establishment presidency in history.
So let's start there and then create a merry, unpredictable, perhaps even eccentric band of rogues with specific talents. Make it the perfect pirate ship. And isn't this exactly how this country was founded? Not by arrogant, rent-seeking insiders and bureaucrats, but renegades and miscreants? Our founding fathers weren't the establishment.
They were rebels, bada--es, and even playboys. They make the crew on Ocean's 11 look like the brats from Kars4Kids. So why not model a cabinet after them? You could do worse. Hell, we've seen worse up close. Bottom line, our founding fathers weren't people who got along with others. If that were true, we'd still be speaking English.
